Ups and Downs, Loves and Losses
by Dracones
Summary: Take nine songs by five artists, add a love triangle including someone thought to be dead, and factor in my crazy convoloutions of a plot thought of by DomesticHouseCat *credit to him for that!* and what do you get? This!


**A songfic, by Dracones, my third this time!** **Massive and convolouted! May I just reccomend listening to each and every one of these songs? They are all awesome! Credits for the plot go to DomesticHouseCat, credits for the songs go to Green Day, The Vaccines, Simon and Garfunkel, Hard-Fi, and Athlete. Enjoy!**

Ups and Downs, Loves and Losses.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams. By Green Day.

An elf was striding through worn forest trails, birds halting in their songs at the sound of his coming, fleeing out of veiw. They knew of the elf's mood-they sensed it, with that instinct animals always seem to find-and they knew it was best to stay away and out of veiw.

_I walk a lonely road,_  
_The only one that I have ever known,_  
_Don't know where it goes,_  
_But it's only me, and I walk alone._

He recalled nothing beyond a certain point; rising out of a battlefeild, three bloodied arrows next to him and an old elf lying exhausted just to the side. Nothing was present for miles; a dozen or so dead monsters with horns, large stretches of forest burned down, and another elf, younger, shot dead. He vaguely recognised the elf, but it was a mere corpse, and he felt no need to remain. From there, he wandered far, meeting none, seing no life. It fled from the feeling of the tortured soul amongst their midst, who had no knowledge beyond few vauge recollections, of the young, dead elf, and of another, but he could never see her face.

_I walk this empty street,_  
_On the Boulevard of broken dreams,_  
_And the city sleeps, And I'm the only one, I walk alone._

_I walk alone, I walk alone._

He wandered far and wide, still meeting none. All that happened was memories rebounding im his brain and the contemplation of them. With time, he came to realise that the old elf he had seen next to him had likely healed him to the best of his ability. He returned to the place afterwards, not particularly knowing, or caring, why. There were no traces of the fight, or of either elf, left, so he left too.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,_  
_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,_  
_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,_  
_Till then I walk alone._

Not a single time had any elves made contact with him. They, besotted with the music of the birds to even go so far, would follow the leaving creatures, unaware of the reason for their leaving.

_I'm walking down the line,_  
_That divides me somewhere in my mind,_  
_On the borderline,_  
_Of the edge in where I walk alone._

The elf now simply walked. His shoes long since worn out, he went barefoot, out of necessity. Food and water were either sipped out of puddles and streams or foraged for among the underbrush. Sometimes, however, his mindless wanderings would return him to a place that he felt something about; a place beyond which, he felt, was a time, a better time, perhaps before his memories started and he stood up on his feet. He would return to the site of the fight.

_Read between the lines,_  
_What's ****ed up and everything's alright._  
_Check my vital signs,_  
_No I'm still alive, and I walk alone._

_I walk alone, I walk alone._

And so he paced the rough ground, heading towards his first memory as himself, for he was not the same as he must have been before the waking. He did not know what or who he had been before, but now, he was empty; to even himself a nameless figure, moving without a purpose.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,_  
_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,_  
_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,_  
_Till then I walk alone._

The one without a name for himself, or for anything, glanced impassively around the trail. There were trees at the side, no tracks anywhere, and stars in the sky. Just as there were last time. He turned to leave, but something caught his dull eyes.

_I walk this empty street,_  
_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams,_  
_And the city sleeps,_  
_And I'm the only one, I walk a-_

On a tall rock, which he had noticed, but not looked at, were carved inscriptions in large letters. Memories of reading, and learning how, burnt their way into his brain. He looked upwards, and read the memorial.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,_  
_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,_  
_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,_  
_Till then I walk alone._

_Here were found and buried,_  
_Faolin and Glenwing,_

_True elves,_  
_Guards of the ambassador and the dragon egg,_  
_They died for their duty,_  
_One with two arrows through his heart,_  
_The other killed by energy loss,_  
_Three arrows bloodied beside him,_  
_Healing cost him too much._

And the elf knew his name.

Faolin.

And then he remembered it all.

Post Break-Up Sex. By the Vaccines.

A voice within Arya's head was talking to her, screaming at her. It wasn't Firnen; it was the part of her that chose duty over emotion, passive over passion. It didn't understand. She had pushed it down. It had taken half a decade, but she had pushed it down, with Firnen's help, and come to a decision of her own. She had finally snapped. She and Firnen had flown east, following his directions, and halfway had met them, who had seemingly lost patience at exactly the same moment. And Arya and Firnen had followed them back, to their new home; not a thought to duties and positions and elves and politics. The voice within was screaming now, though dull; blind to the world, it knew only what she was feeling, not seeing or thinking.

_I can barely look at you,_  
_Don't tell me who you lost it to._  
_Didn't we say we had a deal?_  
_Didn't I say how bad I feel?_  
_Everyone needs a helping hand,_  
_Who said I would not understand?_  
_Someone up the social scale,_  
_For when you're going off the rails._

But she shoved the voice down, concentrating on what was happening now. And the voice within herself was quelled, never to rise again. She was unrestrained; it called her back to the elves no longer. She was a Rider, and only a Rider, in terms of duty. Yet now she even forgot that.

_Post break-up sex,_  
_That helps you forget your ex,_  
_What did you expect,_  
_From post break-up sex?_

She was kissing him, Eragon, the one who had first begun to weaken the bonds the voice had had on her. Faolin had been a part of those bonds-a great friend, a true friend, maybe possibly even more than that towards the end, yet still-a bodyguard, one to protect her and the egg. He had strengthened the bonds; a tie to duty through friendship. Yet Eragon had started to do away with them altogether. She had had to finish it herself, but he and his utmost care had begun the process. Though she did not know whether if she had been then, as she was now, unrestrained, she would have loved Faolin like she now did Eragon, she still continued to kiss him, and he her.

_Leave it till the guilt consumes,_  
_****ing in the nearest room,_  
_All our friends were unaware,_  
_Most had just passed out downstairs._

There had been a celebration at her coming, and the other Riders were likely drunk, and maybe unconscious. Eragon and Arya had been practically the only ones sober, and had taken advantage of that fact in a quiet confession and slipping away elsewhere. They were pressed close to one another, close as never before, their dragons blocked from each of their minds, so it was only them. A sliver of Firnen's thoughts came through to her for a second, a few lines, but once his main point had come across, she sent a vauge acknowledgement, then concentrated fully on what they were doing.

_To think I hoped you'd be okay,_  
_Now I can't think of what to say._  
_Maybe I misunderstood,_  
_But I can't believe you're feeling good,_  
_From_

_Post break-up sex,_  
_That helps you forget your ex,_  
_What did you expect,_  
_From post break-up sex?_

_Post break-up sex,_  
_That helps you forget your ex,_  
_What did you expect,_  
_From post break-up sex?_

Her memories of Faolin were dimming in her mind, eclipsed by those of Eragon, yet not gone fully, only overshadowed. But then again, what did she expect? It had to happen some time. He had been dead for five decades now, and was not coming back.

_Oh when you loved somebody but you found someone,_  
_And it all unravels and it comes undone_.

Everything that had been around her was now unraveling. Her sense of duty, her reminiscant care for Faolin's memory, and, right now, her clothes too. And the freedom that had entered her heart now was terrific and immense. Passion and pleasure erupted through her, and a joyous smile washed over her face.

_Post break-up sex,_  
_That helps you forget your ex,_  
_What did you expect,_  
_From post break-up sex?_

_Post break-up sex,_  
_That helps you forget your ex,_  
_What did you expect,_  
_From post break-up sex?_

If You Wanna. By the Vaccines.

Faolin, as he had only a month ago realised he was called, was on the voyage eastwards, where he had been told Arya had likely set off to. He had journeyed to Ellesmera, memories and sanity recovered, in search of her, and found that she had gone to the home of the Riders. None were all too willing to tell him more.

_Well I don't want to wake up in the morning but I've got to face the day,_  
_That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say._

He stretched, facing the morning sun at the prow of the vessel, the Talita, and smiled faintly. Though it was a beautiful sight that met his eyes-the home of the Riders, a white city on a sharp cliff face-it was not his focus. He took pleasure from the sight, but that was all that made him smile. In truth, inside, he, the one who had walked alone for years-how many, he could not tell-was lonely. He wanted the company of others he knew, which was not many, due to the cost of the war, and the fact that even before he had been 'killed,' he had spent many years wandering Alagaesia. More specifically, he wanted the company of the one he had loved, but never told, and who had never told him. Which was why he was making the journey.

_I don't want to do things independantly, but I can't make you stay,_  
_That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say._

He wanted to work with others again, to help, but there was nothing to do. Finding her was his only purpose. His only aim.

_But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright, it's alright if you wanna come back to me._

He would ask her to come back to him, to love him. He would confess. He still felt the same for her, though that would be expected after becoming practically the same person as he was before again.

_Well I don't wanna see you with another guy, but the fact is that I may,_  
_That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say._

People had told him that she had seemed to be particularly close to the Lead Rider, the Kingkiller, the Shadeslayer, before he left, and now she had gone after him for no apparant reason. The facts were not encouraging, but Faolin knew he would try to get her back. No matter what he had to do.

_Well give it just another couple months or so, then you'll be okay,_  
_That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say._

People had told him that it'd be alright. That he'd be fine without going. He didn't have to. But he did have to. Because he was alone...

_All alone,_  
_All alone,_  
_I, I am on my own._

_All alone,_  
_All alone,_  
_I, I am on my own._

But she might come back to him. And he kept that hope alive in his heart. For if she wanted to come back, she would. If she wanted someone else, well...

_But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright if you wanna come back to me._  
_Well do you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright, it's alright if you wanna come back,_  
_Do you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright, it's alright if you wanna come back,_  
_Do you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright, it's alright if you wanna come back to me._

Cecilia. By Simon and Garfunkel. (The name 'Cecilia' has been replaced by 'Arya' in this next song, for purposes of fic relations. Imagine that the name is very drawn-out for a better idea of the actual song. Or better still, listen to it. Listen to them all, for they are awesome!)

He had found her, Arya. He had reached the home of the Riders and quickly been admitted entry upon hearing that he was an old friend of hers. He had knocked on the door he was directed to, and it was opened. By two people.

_Arya, You're breakin' my heart,_  
_You're shaking my confidence daily._

_Oh Arya, I'm down on my knees, _

_I'm begging you please to come home._

On the left, from his perspective, she stood, beautiful as ever, but her green eyes puzzled at the sight of him, as if he were a memory that she could not quite identify. It was probably only logical that his appearance had been changed over the course of how many lonely years? Her arm, her left one, was wrapped around the second person.

_Arya, You're breakin' my heart,_  
_You're shaking my confidence daily._

_Oh Arya, I'm down on my knees,_

_I'm begging you please to come home._

The second person was a tall, handsome elf, yet more rugged than most. There was the glint of a Gewedy Ignasia on his palm, and his eyes were young, yet experienced, serious. He was scrutinizing Faolin carefully, especially when his gaze was turned to Arya.

_Making love in the afternoon,_  
_With Arya, up in my bedroom,_  
_I get up to wash my face,_  
_When I come back to bed, someone's taking my place._

Okay, exaggeration there. They had never really been to bed, or even confessed feelings. But the context was still similar. He had been there first. Whoever this was had just butted in, and had no right to do so.

_Arya, You're breakin' my heart,_  
_You're shaking my confidence daily._

_Oh Arya, I'm down on my knees, _

_I'm begging you please to come home._

"It's me, Faolin," he stated, waiting, hoping, almost praying for a positive response. Her mouth fell open. Her eyes grew wide. She sprung forwards, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. He returned it, grinning, and a chance glance over her shoulder showed the other elf, the Rider, his mouth slightly open in shock as hers had been moments before, but then a slight hint of posessiveness entered his eyes as Faolin pulled Arya closer, then drew slightly away, staring into her eyes. She was staring back, each now only focusing on the other, he out of love, she seemingly out of puzzlement and bewilderment, as well as joy and relief. And he leaned closer, love running through him, and touched his lips to hers. She moved forwards slightly, seemingly on instinct, then froze, glancing back at the other elf.

His eyes were wider than Faolin had thought eyes would go, and his right hand had slipped, as if on instinct, to where a sword hilt should have been, but wasn't. He and Arya locked eyes for a few moments, she glancing between him and Faolin now and again, indecisive and forced to make a choice. Faolin gazed, desperate to regain what he had never lost, but the other's eyes softened at meeting hers, sorrow entering them. He blinked, slowly, then nodded, if possible even slower, eyes on hers at all times, before taking a step back, into the room. When she did not follow, or make any move at all, apart from continuing to glance from one, still in her arms, to the other, stepping away, and when she did nothing still, the other sighed, cast her a long glance, and slowly closed the door, keeping eye contact all the while. Still she made no move. When the door was shut, a tear leaked down her cheek. Faolin leaned forwards again, suddenly confident, and kissed the tear away, then kissed her lips again.

This time, though slowly, she did indeed return it.

_Jubilation,_  
_She loves me again!_  
_I fall on the floor and I'm laughing._

_Jubilation,_  
_She loves me again!_  
_I fall on the floor and I'm laughing._

Bye Bye Love. By Simon and Garfunkel.

Arya had walked out on him. She had just turned around and walked out. His love, his only love. She had rejected him, and they were separated for a second time. He sank to the floor in his quarters in the home of the Riders, and wept. It had been such a short time since she had come to him, and now she was gone.

_Bye bye love,_  
_Bye bye happiness,_  
_Hello lonliness,_  
_Think I'm gonna cry_

_Bye bye love,_  
_Bye bye sweet kiss,_

_Hello emptiness,_  
_Feel like I could die._  
_Bye bye love goodbye._

She had had him first, when he had come there. He had been with her, and he should have seen the signs from the very first moment he had seen the other. They had been together, he knew it. He could tell. And now they were again; she had just walked out on him, without as much as a goodbye.

_There goes my baby with someone new,_  
_She showed exactly, I should have knew,_  
_She was my baby, till he stepped in,_  
_Bye bye to romance, that might have been._

They could have been happy. They could have lived together for the rest of their lives. But she had abandoned him, just after coming back too. That only sharpened the blow.

_Bye bye love,_  
_Bye bye happiness,_  
_Hello lonliness,_  
_Think I'm gonna cry_

_Bye bye love,_  
_Bye bye sweet kiss_

_Hello emptiness,_  
_Feel like I could die._  
_Bye bye love goodbye._

He would not open his heart again. He would not allow such pain to consume him. If she, the closest person to him, could leave, then where would he be later? No, he would not open himself again.

_I'm through with romance, I'm through with love,_  
_I'm through with counting, the stars above,_  
_And here's the reason, that I'm so free,_  
_My love and baby, is through with me._

He would wander. He had nothing better to do. Alone, it was better than remaining still and doing nothing.

_Bye bye love,_  
_Bye bye happiness,_  
_Hello lonliness,_  
_Think I'm gonna cry._

_Bye bye love,_  
_Bye bye sweet kiss_

_Hello emptiness,_  
_Feel like I could die._  
_Bye bye love goodbye_.

And Faolin wept for the love that had just left him, without even an explanation.

The only consolation he had was that her other love had felt the same a few days ago. A few days of embraces, kisses, mostly, if not all, on his part, and awkward silences, yet glorious days to him all the same.

Better Do Better. By Hard-Fi.

A knock sounded from Eragon's door, then again. He stood, rising from his position curled in a chair, where he had remained for the past three days, talking to none, even refusing to respond to Saphira. But the knock-and the sense of the mind outside-roused him, and he crossed over to the door and pulled it open, exposing her. She began to speak, tears in her eyes and sorrow in her posture, but before she could apologise, and ask for acceptance, as he knew she would, he cut her off with a well-rehearsed speech. Or rant. It was really a combination of both, in honesty.

_"You're back, sitting on my doorstep,_  
_Ah yeah like nothing happened._  
_Telling me that you're free and oh,_  
_Can you see me again."_

She once again attempted to speak, but he cut her off again.

_"Yeah right,_  
_So you've been kicked out._  
_Do you think I'm that stupid?_  
_You say you're free but didn't he just oh oh oh..._  
_Get tired of you kid._

_I could not sleep for days,_  
_I cried so much my face,_  
_Has never been the same and,_  
_Now you're back here with your lies._  
_I hope you realise._

_You think I'm gonna take you back?_  
_Better do better than that,_  
_I'll tell ya how it's gonna be,_  
_Don't ya never ever come near me._  
_Let me tell ya how I've been,_  
_I've been hiding from my friends,_  
_Hiding from the world,_  
_Hiding from myself._  
_You think you'll come round here?_  
_Stop singing in my ear,_  
_Girl you damaged me,_  
_I don't forgive so easily,_  
_You better do better than that!_

_Your face makes me wanna be sick,_  
_Oh yeah it's a physical reaction._  
_You better leave because you see I,_  
_Can't be blamed for my actions._

_Don't know how I ever loved you,_  
_So dumb, how did I ever trust you?_  
_But you and he laughed at me, oh When you laid together._

_I could not eat for days,_  
_I cried so much my face,_  
_Has never been the same and,_  
_Now you're back here with your lies._  
_I hope you realise,_

_You think I'm gonna take you back?_  
_Better do better than that,_  
_I'll tell ya how it's gonna be,_  
_Don't ya never ever come near me._  
_Let me tell ya how I've been,_  
_I've been hiding from my friends,_  
_Hiding from the world,_  
_Hiding from myself._  
_You think you'll come round here?_  
_Stop singing in my ear,_  
_Girl you damaged me,_  
_I don't forgive so easily,_  
_You better do better than that!_

_I gave you everything I had girl,_  
_But you had to try and take some more._  
_You went behind my back girl,_  
_Cheated on me, I was the last to know._

_Did everything we had girl,_  
_Mean nothing to ya._  
_Well I was such a fool._  
_Now you come crawling back girl,_  
_Well let me tell ya I am through with you._

_Oh I'm back up off the floor,_  
_And I won't get hurt no more,_  
_I've been waiting for this day when,_  
_You'll be back here with your lies,_  
_I hope you realise,_

_You think I'm gonna take you back?_  
_Better do better than that,_  
_I'll tell ya how it's gonna be,_  
_Don't ya never ever come near me._  
_Let me tell ya how I've been,_  
_I've been hiding from my friends,_  
_Hiding from the world,_  
_Hiding from myself._  
_You think you'll come round here?_  
_Stop singing in my ear,_  
_Girl you damaged me,_  
_I don't forgive so easily,_  
_You better do better than that!_

_Say something, say something..._  
_Say something, say something..._

_You better do better than that!"_

He waited for her response to his challenge, expecting maybe a plea, or an astute guess as to how he truly felt. What he heard when she opened her mouth, however, was entirely unexpected.

Chances. By Athlete. (Please note that, in the lack of any other Alagaesian context, the word that would have been 'Berlin' has been changed to Ilirea in this version.)

"Eragon..." She hesitated, then whispered his true name. He shivered; it had stayed the same, and she could tell. "You feel the same, you know you do. And I feel the same as you. Take the offer of love, acceptance, and apology that I offer you now." She whispered a name after that, too, and it was hers, but it had changed. Now, it incorporated a love for him as great as his for her. But that was not all she said. In fact, she then, gently and softly, sung the rest of her conversation.

_"Take all your chances while you can,_  
_You never know, when they'll pass you by._  
_Like a sum, the mathmatician cannot solve,_  
_Like me, trying my hardest to explain."_

She raised a hand to his face, stepping closer, into the room. Her fingers brushed his cheek, and he relaxed greatly, as she continued.

_"It's all about your,_  
_Cries and kisses,_  
_Those first steps that,_  
_I can't calculate,_  
_I need some more of you to take me over,_  
_Take me over."_

She leaned over, and kissed him softly, before withdrawing and smiling at smile that had flashed across his face involountarily.

_"If I had the chance to start again,_  
_Then you would be the one I'd come and find,_  
_Like the poster of Ilirea on my wall,_  
_Maybe there's a chance our walls might fall."_

Eragon's heart rejoiced at the fact that she would choose him over Faolin now, but in an attempt to regain his former composure and solid resistance, he hid it from her, though he could tell that it would likely be useless hiding anything from her.

_"It's all about your,_  
_Cries and kisses,_  
_Those first steps that,_  
_I can't calculate,_  
_I need some more of you to take me over,_  
_Take me over._

_It's all about your,_  
_Cries and kisses,_  
_Those first steps that,_  
_I can't calculate,_  
_I need some more of you to take me over,_  
_I know it because,_  
_I can't calculate,_  
_How to,_  
_Start again._  
_How to,_  
_Start again._  
_How to,_  
_Start again._  
_How to,_  
_Start again._  
_It's all about you."_

Eragon turned, wondering if he should accept after what she had almost done. He walked over to the balcony, gazing out towards the sunset-or was it sunrise? He couldn't tell what time it was, nor could he be bothered to word out which based off the compass points, so he left it at that. How could he respond? He felt her hand rest on his shoulder, gently, and he turned, decision made.

I Love. By Athlete.

Eragon glanced out again at the sun, which framed the outline of a hill, before inspiration struck, and he sung, softly, now facing her again.

_"Fire on the hill,_  
_Fire in me still._  
_I feel out of my league,_  
_But you turn around and say to me that,_

_I love everybody here,_  
_And I agree._  
_I love everybody, here._

_Sun has long gone out,_  
_Sun comes up, like it's been about, a year._  
_But I don't mind if we,_  
_Drink again my friend, 'cause,_

_There is so much left to say,_  
_There is so much left to say,_  
_There is so much left to say,_  
_There is so much left to say,_

_People for miles,_  
_Opening up,_  
_People for miles,_  
_Focusing on _

_Would be okay if,_

_We had answers to questions in rhymes and in reasons so leave it to me to be all the four seasons._

_You say, I love everybody here,_  
_And I agree._  
_I love everybody here,_

_I love everybody here,_  
_I love everybody here._

_Well I love everybody here,_  
_I love everybody here._

_Life is beautiful for sure,_  
_'Cause I love everybody here."_

He reached out to her now, and she to him, and their arms wrapped around each other, lips meeting in an embrace of love. And out the window, a lonely figure looked up, seeing the joined sillhouettes outlined against the light inside.

And he turned, walking away with disgust and lonliness in his heart.

_I walk a lonely road,_  
_The only one that I have ever known,_  
_Don't know where it goes,_  
_But it's only me, and I walk alone._

_I walk this empty street,_  
_On the Boulevard of broken dreams,_  
_And the city sleeps, And I'm the only one, I walk alone._

_I walk alone, I walk alone._

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,_  
_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,_  
_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,_  
_Till then I walk alone._

_I'm walking down the line,_  
_That divides me somewhere in my mind,_  
_On the borderline,_  
_Of the edge in where I walk alone._

_Read between the lines,_  
_What's ****ed up and everything's alright._  
_Check my vital signs,_  
_No I'm still alive, and I walk alone._

_I walk alone, I walk alone._

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,_  
_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,_  
_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,_  
_Till then I walk alone._

_I walk this empty street,_  
_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams,_  
_And the city sleeps,_  
_And I'm the only one, I walk a-_

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,_  
_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,_  
_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,_  
_Till then I walk alone._

_And Faolin walked alone, again._

**Originally, I had planned to have something like a fight between Eragon and Faolin, but no song would fit in with that. I hope this tale of ups and downs, losses and gains, has been entertaining for it. Pretty massive songfic at any rate!**


End file.
